Let Your Heart Be Light

A wintry hike can sweep out mental cobwebs

Today on a local radio show, the topic was SAD, that is, Seasonal Affective Disorder.  This disorder describes people who become clinically depressed when it's dark outside.

The beginning of the show (Think Out Loud on OPB) described the disorder from a medical view, but the latter part focused on stories of survival and solution during the dark days of winter.

They all involved Light.

Light is the answer.  Whether lightboxes or candles, a walk outside, or the warmth of the oven, it is light that helps.  Makes sense, since it is its absence that creates the problem.

We give a lot during the holidays -- a lot of our own light.  Even if were are not gift-givers, we are going to parties, talking to friends and family, or even just making a small effort to be more friendly.  All of this can add up to a feeling of overwhelm and depletion.  We want to give, but not to give it all away.

Here are 5 ways to help bring in and keep the light this holiday season:

1.  Enjoy.  Don't just do fun things, enjoy them.  When you feel that sense of too much bustle, make sure to pause and survey your surroundings.  Are you exhausted?  Take a seat, have a beverage, take time while you're at the mall or the bazaar or downtown to sit and do something for yourself. Enjoy the day.

2.  Short-shop.  Have a half hour during the work day when you can steal down to a cute shop for those stocking stuffers?  Do it.  Have an extra hour at the end of the day when you could stop by the bookstore to pick up a few things?  Do it.  Just take the time that you have a do a few things here and there.  They all add up and prevent the last minute frenzy.

3.  Eat.  We all eat during the holidays, sometimes too much.  Be sure to take time for nutritive foods during this time.  4 butter cookies is not lunch.  It can make you feel as full as lunch, but it is not lunch.  Indulge and enjoy, but make sure you are eating good meals, getting good nutrition, and adding in the fun foods as an indulgence.  If you skip lunch so that you can 3 glasses of eggnog tonight, you are not doing yourself any favors.

4.  Take time to feel.  Are you missing someone this holiday season?  Take time to feel the feelings you are having and allow them to be a part of your season.  Take a long walk and allow yourself to reflect on how you are feeling as the year ends.  What is it time to let go of?  What do you need as you move forward?

5.  Laugh.  Whatever holiday you do or do not celebrate, bring in the light with laughter.  Watch a favorite comedy with friends, play games, celebrate.  Laughter gives us energy and shakes us out of old patterns.  Make time for fun and let your heart be light.

Nothing gold can (or should) stay

Change with the leaves,
turn golden and die.
Death is a blessing,
the mother of the new.

Nature offers the solace of rhythm and change.  The turning into fall is an exciting time -- new weather, new food, memories of the past, adventures to come.

It is an invigorating time to be a therapist...

Fall brings new clients, and new changes for old clients.  It also brings endings.  All of this brings life to my practice; it breathes.

Letting go is infamously hard, but we have to do it -- there is no life without death.  We must release people, expectations, wrongs done to us, rights we think we have done.

A sunny fall day makes me want to walk, and look up, and feel the air on my face. 

While the exhilaration of Spring after a long winter feels like a rescue, Fall feels like coming home.

I hope you are enjoying it too.

The Simplicity of Change

Beatrice Peltre

I was reading one of my favorite food blogs today, and reflecting on how much this woman and her writing have taught me.  Yes, she creates great recipes, but it's her simple and lovely relationship with food that shines through in her sumptuous posts, and inspires.  Thank you, Bea!

Through her recipes, I have learned basic techniques that I have incorporated into my daily routine of cooking.  Ways to use small amounts of ingredients; the importance of putting thought into how each ingredient in a recipe is seasoned; the joy of lovely presentation; the role of season, gathering, family.  

Wonderful food can be simple.
Simple food can be wonderful.
And little touches make all the difference...

Just like life.  Ah ha!  Always have to connect it in.  But really, life is so often more simple than we think, right?  Our thoughts love to make it complicated and difficult, but problems that loom large can shrink in an instant when seen from another vantage point.  In therapy, I call this "the lever."  

Change often happens slowly, over time, but sometimes one finds the lever.  The lever is that realization, that insight, that bit of permission, that allows us to change, and to realize that it is easy.

The biggest inhibition to change is the idea that we already know what to do. 

I know what to do, I'm just not doing it.

When we say this to ourselves, we give ourselves quite a slap.  What does this mean?  That we're lazy, stubborn, incompetent?  It sounds a lot like a familiar parental strain... 

You know better.

So what?  If we all did what we 'knew better' this world would be filled with entirely different people.  Our journey to live our life to its fullest would not exist.  We would be robotic!

Finding our own unique journey, our own way in the world, is the discovery of true intimacy.  Intimacy with yourself.  And it involves making lots of mistakes.  Lots.

Why are we here?  What is this life about?  These are the questions we need to be asking ourselves everyday.  Not so we can go on a chase, but so that we can live in a place of exploration and receptivity.  So we can experiment, question, wonder.  So we can have an intimate relationship with our own life.

It's fun, I promise.