It's Always Sunny in Portland

For those of you who know the show, the reference doesn't quite work. But, it was sunny today in Portland! On November 30th! I went for a walk to celebrate.

K. and I meandered around downtown for a bit, had some lunch, and then I sauntered myself down to the river. The Sun! There it was. Blue sky! Shadows!

The day make me think that part of the depressing nature of grey weather is missing our own shadow. Could it be? It felt nice to see mine today, as well as those cast by leaves and trees and other folks.

Some days call us more to LIFE; some, not so much.  Or, not so obviously.  Some days we have to work harder to understand what that particular day (unique and never to be there again) is telling us.  There is always a message, there is always something about ourselves and the mystery of life we can learn. Even when it rains, or is just oppressively grey all day long.

But that was not today!

May your day be filled with exploration.  May your day call you to discover both life and yourself and then find that it is the same seeking.  May you have the chance to feel a winter sun on your face, or, if not, to imagine it.  May you know that that is the stuff of love.

Light Steps During the Holidays

Entering the holiday season can mean a lot of deep breaths. Now, mind you, I actually really enjoy the holiday season, in theory: the food, lights, gatherings, sense of community and spirit.  We all band together to bring some light to the world just when it all seems about to go out.  I love candles, and green boughs, wrapping presents, and making things (cookies, mostly).  I love big hugs that celebrate just knowing someone for another year.  But, I also take a lot of deep breaths, because the holidays can, in fact, really make me stressed.

Every year, I am determined to deflect this sense of stress and doom.  Around the middle of October I began to strategize about how I am going to organize my holiday emotions into something productive.  I will figure out which presents go to which people.  I will make simple gifts that we can give to many.  I will send Christmas cards, on time, to everyone!   I will make lists! 

Yet, somehow, all these "wills" seem to lead instead to last-minute Christmas shopping, New Year's cards (during a good year), and food hangovers that last until Valentine's Day.  It is an ineffective strategy, at best.

So, this year I am taking another tack: I am going to try to follow the advice I would give to any client that presented me with this issue.  That is, I am going to relax.

I am going to stay open to the right moments for things like baking, making lists, and shopping.

I am not going to shame myself for not getting these things done.

I am going to look at the calendar and lightly plan for parties and other festive occasions.

I am going to smile.

Because, most of all, what I really want for Christmas this year is to simply feel good, to be relaxed, to enjoy the season, to have time for gazing and laughing and breathing in light.

How about you?

Thank You

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and today I simply wanted to say, thank you.

Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for supporting my heart and spirit.

Thank you for another day on this beautiful planet. Thank you for raindrops. Thank you for red leaves wet on the ground.

Thank you for your laughter, your warmth, your strong arms. Thank you for your smiles. Thank you for your tears. Thank you for sharing your dreams with me.

Thank you world for another year of life. Thank you for the opportunity to speak and the chance to share.

And thank you for all things beautiful, all things difficult, all things new.

Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you, dear reader, for you.

Looking Up

There was something about the moment that called for a walk, but when I started walking, all I could do was think.  About what I needed to get done, should get done, didn't do... my mind was frantically untying and retying knots.

But then, standing at the intersection of NW 11th and Burnside, staring at the big sign for Powell's City of Books, waiting for the always slow walk-sign to change, I realized that I was absent from the moment, from living.  So, I took a breath.  And then, as always happens when I take such a moment, I looked up.

Do you do that?

I find that when I look up, I see wonderful, soul-filling things.  Things like leaves fluttering on tree branches and falling down; people talking and holding hands; the wind coming up the street from the river.

This is what everyone is talking about with mindfulness and living in the moment. It is not about letting go of the future, but rather connecting with the flow of life. Living in your life rather than living in your mind.

It's about noticing small things.  And the feeling of noticing something and thinking, "I would have missed that.  I almost missed that!" And the that being a few scattered leaves swirling along the street in an autumn breeze.

For as simple as these moments are, they are not easy to come by.  Initially.  It takes practice, and it takes knowing how to be quiet, how to lean into the moment.

It's not about finding the perfect moment, but about finding the perfection that is already in the moment, the life that is flowing there.

And all it takes is that breath, those first tries at letting go.  Let go, look up, let go, look up.  Keep trying, keep trying, keep trying. Don't give up yourself, or on someone else, or on life.

As His Holiness the Dalai Lama says:

Never give up.

No matter what is going on
Never give up.

Develop the heart.
Too much energy in your country
Is spent developing the mind
Instead of the heart.
Develop the heart.

Be compassionate.

Not just with your friends
But with everyone.

Be compassionate.

Work for peace.

In your heart
And in the world.
Work for peace.

And I say again,
Never give up.
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up.

Give looking up a try this week, see what you can see. Let life fill your heart.

San Diego

So, you live in Portland and you're going to San Diego in November.  You're thinking, "This'll be great! Sun right before it really gets dark."  And you're right, some of the time.  My sister said that the weekend we just had in San Diego is about as cold as it gets, and it was downright chilly at times.  Gas wall heaters were being figured out and turned on, and a late party turned into a cuddle under the afghan.  But, it was still lovely...

San Diego is so different than Portland in more ways that you can count.  But they do have similarities.  When Portlanders think of San Diego, they see a big yellow sun and think, "Mmm... that would be nice."  And San Diegans (at least the ones I know), seem to have the same thought, but where we think of sun, they think of culture.  So we're sister cities, cities that long for a missing piece, and see it in the other.

We had so much fun.  We played, of course (see previous post!).  We went to a fancy celebration at this fancy place.  We walked and talked and ate brunch and drank tea and lounged around.  To me, this is the very best kind of visit: simple, sweet, satisfying.  A very good friend of mine, who I get to see very soon, said once that her favorite part of visiting with friends is sitting around in the morning, talking and drinking coffee.  I agree.  Especially when those friends are your sister and beloved brother-in-law.  I felt lucky all weekend long.

K. and I also got a chance to go the famous San Diego Zoo.  Zoo's bring out mixed feelings in both of us.  We see animals living a life that is not their own, but they bring us the gift of connection, even as most of us live in cities and seem to want to work very hard to hurt our shared planet.  It is not an easy thing to stomach, but we had a really lovely morning nonetheless.  So much beauty.  One of our favorite things was seeing all the Koalas, but I didn't get any good pictures of them.  We did, however, ride the  "Skyfari."  Highly recommended.

We ended the weekend on the patio of an old-school golf club overlooking the city. It was an apt ending to a spectacular time of renewed connection and fun.  I love visiting a different place, it always inspires me.  San Diego is a great place to visit and get to know, and enjoy.

I can't wait for our next visit.

Seriously Playful

Play is on my mind today. K. was mentioning a post about Mr. Rogers that I put up earlier this year, and it made me think of the quote you see above, I love it. And it made me wonder and think about play...

Play is something I personally struggle with. I am the oldest of two, and I am a born boss. I love to plan, know what the plan is, execute the plan, make others follow my plan... you get the drift. So, to find play and make it a part of my everyday life is no small task. Damn. There I go, making play into a task.

We're going to visit my lovely sister and her husband this weekend in San Diego and one of the many reasons I love spending time with them is that I know we will play. Why? Because my sister loves to play - that is where her mind goes first when she thinks about spending time.  This joyful focus is something I have learned from her over the years, and the education continues every time we are together. I need to seriously learn about play. It is a lifelong job.

My sister plays in many amazing ways. She is an artist, a thinker, and the person you want to have around if your life needs a little more zest. She has certainly added a lot to mine. When my mind is saying, "What should I get done right now?" Her mind is saying, "What could I do right now?" A subtle, but important difference.  (We all need both!)

One way that I incorporate more play into my life is to literally 1) take a minute to physically shake off stress, 2) blink my eyes really fast for a second, and 3) look around and ask myself the question, what could I do right now that would make me smile?

May you have a playful weekend.  Try turning a task into something fun.  Wait, that sounds familiar.  How does the song go?

In ev'ry job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job's a game
And ev'ry task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree!
It's very clear to me
That a...
Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way

Admit it, you want to go listen to it right now....  May your weekend be delight-filled!