How can I help? Meeting Tara Stiles & Mike Taylor and Learning Strala

This blog post is a bit different than usual, but some things just make you break the rules.

A few weeks ago, I had the amazing experience of meeting my yoga idol, Tara Stiles, at the beautiful Love Yoga studio in Albany.

I found Tara last Fall, when I was looking to begin practicing at home after getting back into yoga over the past couple of years.  I found her DVD set and then a 7 minute YouTube video and thought, "Who is this casual girl doing yoga in a New York loft like it's no big deal?"

Well, I bought the DVDs, began practicing her sequences via YouTube and was soon hooked.  There was just something about her style that was different, and that made my home practice open into something creative, empowering, and fun.  So, when I had the chance to not only meet but train with her, how could I pass it up?

I have to admit, when I first met Tara, it took me a minute not be starstruck, but not that long because, simply put, she is the real deal.  What a treat, to meet someone you admire and have them look at you with clear eyes, hand all that admiration back, and ask "And how are you?"

Tara is a real person, a really kind, funny, genuine person who has taken her gifts and gives of her knowledge and expertise without expecting or wanting you to become a follower or devotee.  She and Mike have tapped into some truths about 'helping' that are often missed by those of us 'professionals.'

My favorite of these: asking "How can I help?" rather than "What can I prove."

Strala, the style of yoga that they have created in New York City, is a movement based system that seeks to connect each person to themselves.  There is minimal instruction beyond movement and breath guidance; no lectures, insights, or corrections.  Rather there is laughter, encouragement, and fun.  And continued emphasis on being relaxed so you can breathe and move like a wave in the ocean.

Mike and Tara talk about how your own breath should set the pace of the experience, and the result is a class or experience that leaves you feeling refreshed, empowered, strong and smiling. Strala encourages the person moving to not only be responsible for their own experience, but tells them that they are the expert on themselves.

Our medical establishment struggles with this idea, seeking instead to offer expertise and advice.  Strala is a conscious response to this disempowering and fundamentally unsuccessful approach to healing and health.  Strala is a mind-body medicine that guides you into your own body, so that you can listen and act accordingly.

While Tara is a trained ballerina who found her passion in yoga, Mike is trained in medicine and martial arts.  Together they seek to create a style of yoga that heals body and mind through ease in movement and connection to breath and inner self.  I think they're doing quite a good job.  Obviously.

Hopefully I will soon begin my journey towards guiding Strala here in Portland.  I cannot wait to share all of this with others.  It's yoga party time.


Tara has a ton of free or minimal cost videos available on YouTube, full classes via the Strala website, and through her DVD set This Is Yoga ($20).  She and Mike have also just launched a full instruction course for Strala, available via MindBodyGreen.  If you live in Portland and love Strala, let's get in touch!!

Love Lost, Love Found, Love All Around

This is always an interesting week in my office, Valentine's Day/week/season, that is. I don't know how to tell people to just not worry about it so much, because they will anyway, but I try. And there are often pesky memories.  What I do end up saying a lot are things like,

"It's worth waiting for."
                                                                                "Wait until it isn't a choice."
                       "Trust."
                                                                     "Breathe."

I have been fortunate in my life to know many, many people who are deeply in love. I see it all the time, all around me, the support and connection of commitment that comes without effort. Not that the happiness of the relationship comes without effort (for that is the work that bears the greatest fruit), but that the commitment itself is not a question.  There is a with and a we that becomes as natural and normal as... well, anything else in life.

In these days of so much kind-of connection via the Internet, it seems even harder to let life lead. To just put effort into the things you enjoy, get out of the house, and let love find you can seem impossible.

Even if you have found your partner, you can lose precious time to the computer when you could be holding hands, smiling at each other, helping out, or expressing appreciation or support.

Whether you're single or partnered, think of this this Valentine's Day:  Make yourself happy first and the relationship you find will always bring you back to that version of yourself: the person you were that day when you first knew, when you first felt it, when you first realized that you were getting to know the person you would be with for the rest of your life.  Then you get the best of both people: a happy, loving you, and the person you fell in love with when you were most at ease in yourself.

Recipe for the Experience of Love:

Take a moment when you would be doing something else, and lay down on your bed or on the floor.
Get comfy. Put a pillow under your knees, make sure you are nice and warm.
Smile.

Now soften your whole body, your whole mind, your whole heart.
And again.
And again.

Luxuriate in doing absolutely nothing but softening, melting, being.
Accept absolutely everything in your conscious awareness.  Every thought, every itch, every sound.

Be the center in the storm.
And breathe.
And soften.
And breathe.

And love.

Happy Valentine's, and thank you for reading!

Don't Miss the View

Don't miss the view. 

I feel like this every moment I am at the beautiful Oregon Coast, one of my favorite places in the world. I was lucky to be there over the holiday break with my family, watching waves and enjoy brisk days in front on a cozy fire.

Don't miss the view. What view am I missing today? What am I not seeing, not noticing, not understanding?

In Indian mysticism, they use the process of negation to discover truth, to see the view.  For example:

What is truth?
It is not my hand.

What is truth?
It is not my breath.

What is truth?
It is not this computer.

The process of negation leads one to de-attach from all the things we unknowingly see as "true" or important. The process leads one to a feeling of peace, settling, and the experience of what is rather than attachment to trying to control what is always moving and changing, becoming and dying.

Yet in that same moment, as we experience flashes of the real, we are more deeply attuned to all that is changing around us, because we have found the right viewpoint.  And this leads to the experience of deep, deep love for all of life; for life in all its complexity. Compassion.

2013 feels like a year of discovery, of searching, of finding that right view.

"Our happiness and the happiness of those around us depend on our degree of Right View. Touching reality deeply -- knowing what is going on inside and outside of ourselves -- is the way to liberate ourselves from the suffering that is caused by wrong perceptions. Right View is not an ideology, a system, or even a path. It is the insight we have into the reality of life, a living insight that fills us with understanding, peace, and love."

~Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching, page 51

What does it feel like for you?

Happy Christmas

It's always a challenge, to find good times for walking and being when celebrating and staying with lots of loved ones.  There are meals to make, cookies to bake, puzzles to put together, and things like showering and cleaning up always make their way in there somewhere.  So, I was so glad today to find myself with a half hour before lunch to walk...

I wasn't expecting to be writing here today, but I did walk, and think, and take some photos of this lovely place where I am spending the holiday.  So it just seemed to happen.  I am in a different place...

I hope to deliver some other lovely photos and posts, but for today I just wanted to share the fine, crisp, clear feeling of this place where I am spending Christmas.

And the delightful feeling of being somewhere new, with people I love, on this special day.  I hope you are enjoying this day wherever you are, and that your holiday is wonderful, whatever it may be.

San Diego

So, you live in Portland and you're going to San Diego in November.  You're thinking, "This'll be great! Sun right before it really gets dark."  And you're right, some of the time.  My sister said that the weekend we just had in San Diego is about as cold as it gets, and it was downright chilly at times.  Gas wall heaters were being figured out and turned on, and a late party turned into a cuddle under the afghan.  But, it was still lovely...

San Diego is so different than Portland in more ways that you can count.  But they do have similarities.  When Portlanders think of San Diego, they see a big yellow sun and think, "Mmm... that would be nice."  And San Diegans (at least the ones I know), seem to have the same thought, but where we think of sun, they think of culture.  So we're sister cities, cities that long for a missing piece, and see it in the other.

We had so much fun.  We played, of course (see previous post!).  We went to a fancy celebration at this fancy place.  We walked and talked and ate brunch and drank tea and lounged around.  To me, this is the very best kind of visit: simple, sweet, satisfying.  A very good friend of mine, who I get to see very soon, said once that her favorite part of visiting with friends is sitting around in the morning, talking and drinking coffee.  I agree.  Especially when those friends are your sister and beloved brother-in-law.  I felt lucky all weekend long.

K. and I also got a chance to go the famous San Diego Zoo.  Zoo's bring out mixed feelings in both of us.  We see animals living a life that is not their own, but they bring us the gift of connection, even as most of us live in cities and seem to want to work very hard to hurt our shared planet.  It is not an easy thing to stomach, but we had a really lovely morning nonetheless.  So much beauty.  One of our favorite things was seeing all the Koalas, but I didn't get any good pictures of them.  We did, however, ride the  "Skyfari."  Highly recommended.

We ended the weekend on the patio of an old-school golf club overlooking the city. It was an apt ending to a spectacular time of renewed connection and fun.  I love visiting a different place, it always inspires me.  San Diego is a great place to visit and get to know, and enjoy.

I can't wait for our next visit.

Seriously Playful

Play is on my mind today. K. was mentioning a post about Mr. Rogers that I put up earlier this year, and it made me think of the quote you see above, I love it. And it made me wonder and think about play...

Play is something I personally struggle with. I am the oldest of two, and I am a born boss. I love to plan, know what the plan is, execute the plan, make others follow my plan... you get the drift. So, to find play and make it a part of my everyday life is no small task. Damn. There I go, making play into a task.

We're going to visit my lovely sister and her husband this weekend in San Diego and one of the many reasons I love spending time with them is that I know we will play. Why? Because my sister loves to play - that is where her mind goes first when she thinks about spending time.  This joyful focus is something I have learned from her over the years, and the education continues every time we are together. I need to seriously learn about play. It is a lifelong job.

My sister plays in many amazing ways. She is an artist, a thinker, and the person you want to have around if your life needs a little more zest. She has certainly added a lot to mine. When my mind is saying, "What should I get done right now?" Her mind is saying, "What could I do right now?" A subtle, but important difference.  (We all need both!)

One way that I incorporate more play into my life is to literally 1) take a minute to physically shake off stress, 2) blink my eyes really fast for a second, and 3) look around and ask myself the question, what could I do right now that would make me smile?

May you have a playful weekend.  Try turning a task into something fun.  Wait, that sounds familiar.  How does the song go?

In ev'ry job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job's a game
And ev'ry task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree!
It's very clear to me
That a...
Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way

Admit it, you want to go listen to it right now....  May your weekend be delight-filled!

Unexpected Reward

Weddings always inspire the silly poet in me.  I recently had an experience that was both an honor and a first: I attended my first client wedding.  It was so fun.  I didn't know exactly what it would be like to see a client I cared about and had seen through good times and bad be celebrated, it was even better than I could have expected.   An unexpected reward for the work I do.

So here's a little silly ditty for the happy couple.  May they love and grow and love and grow.

Celebration
In Honor of J&B
 
Celebrate life, celebrate love,
celebrate leaves falling from above.

Dance to music just for you,
then invite someone else to dance with you, too.

Lean in close to a nearby ear,
someone you love, say something dear.

Don't sit and worry about what comes next,
just use your voice, or if you must, send a text.

Make sure that you say just what you mean,
Quietly, loudly, or anywhere in-between.

An Autumn poem, for you dear reader,
An Autumn poem, with a bit of love for the meter.

Standing in the Wind

Today I'm thinking about movement and wind.  It certainly seems like things are moving fast, that chaos is all around, and most of us cannot help but feel afraid and very uncertain about the future.

The whole situation reminds me of wind, and of a very windy place I visited on my vacation: the beautiful Cape Blanco...

Cape Blanco is a state park and campground outside of Port Orford on the Southern Oregon Coast.  It was so windy there, both in town and at our campsite.  Cape Blanco is the Westernmost point in Oregon.  The Cape hangs out into the sea, all to itself, with a lighthouse at the end.

What do you do with the mad that you feel?

The title of this post is a quote from a young boy who inspired a Mr. Rogers song.  I heard it recently as I watched this video, shared with me by my sister, of Mr. Rogers defending funding for PBS:

What a wonderful man.  I grew up watching Fred Rogers, and can remember thinking about being special, thinking that it was a "good feeling, just being alive."  Watching this, I appreciate even more as an adult his calm voice, his caring, and his sense of the time and attention children need to be feel understood and loved.

At the end of this clip, he speaks the words to the song I mentioned above, "What do you Do?"  It is a beautiful teaching about dealing with difficult emotions, and centers on the importance of feeling able to make choices, even when upset.

What do you do with the mad that you feel
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong...
And nothing you do seems very right?

What do you do? Do you punch a bag?
Do you pound some clay or some dough?
Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
Or see how fast you go?

It's great to be able to stop
When you've planned a thing that's wrong,
And be able to do something else instead
And think this song:

I can stop when I want to
Can stop when I wish.
I can stop, stop, stop any time.
And what a good feeling to feel like this
And know that the feeling is really mine.
Know that there's something deep inside
That helps us become what we can.
For a girl can be someday a woman
And a boy can be someday a man.

So much strife comes out of moments when it feels like there is only one truth, and no choice.  But there is always choice in how we react to how we feel; there is always a choice where action is concerned.

Sadly, many people are not empowered to make that choice, they are gripped by the emotion and the fear.  They do not experience the empowerment that comes with dealing with a painful emotion with strength, reason, and faith -- faith in oneself, and in the humanity of us all.

May 2011 be a year of strength, tolerance, and joy for all of us.   May we believe we are special, and know that we can stop, stop, stop, any time.  Mister Rogers would want it that way.

Listen to Mister Rogers sing the song.